When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power—vodka. Seems reasonable, when considering that she discovered her boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo and she had to pretend to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class. In this highly entertaining, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Are You There, Vodka?
Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She was the star of her own late-night show on E! Chelsea makes regular appearances in comedy clubs across America and lives in Los Angeles. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin She seems like a cruel queen bee from an expensive college: There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how her jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers's bad-girl school: Tina Fey.
I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words. But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say. About everything. And everyone, God help them. By: Joan Rivers. In Wishful Drinking , Carrie Fisher tells the true and intoxicating story of her life with inimitable wit.
Born to celebrity parents, she was picked to play a princess in a little movie called Star Wars when only 19 years old. By: Carrie Fisher. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation.
Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Love Life serves up another delicious selection of intimate stories and observations from Rob Lowe's life, told with humor, warmth, and brutal honesty. After writing his acclaimed debut effort, Lowe felt he had more stories to share and many more friends to introduce. The result is a touching memoir about the business and craft of acting, the pitfalls of success, family, love, and much more.
By: Rob Lowe. Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is Alison Arngrim's comic memoir of growing up as one of television's most memorable characters - the devious Nellie Oleson on the hit television show Little House on the Prairie. With behind-the-scenes stories from the set, as well as tales from her bohemian upbringing in West Hollywood and her headline-making advocacy work on behalf of HIV awareness and abused children, Confessions of a Prairie Bitch is a must for fans of everything Little House.
By: Alison Arngrim. In these fresh and hilarious personal essays, Mindy Kaling gives the inside scoop on her new role as single mom, the perks of being her own husband, and how she deals with social anxiety even at the most glamorous A-list parties. By: Mindy Kaling.
So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?
By: Ellen DeGeneres. For the first time, Hillary Rodham Clinton reveals what she was thinking and feeling during one of the most controversial and unpredictable presidential elections in history. Now free from the constraints of running, Hillary takes you inside the intense personal experience of becoming the first woman nominated for president by a major party in an election marked by rage, sexism, exhilarating highs and infuriating lows, stranger-than-fiction twists, Russian interference, and an opponent who broke all the rules.
This is her most personal memoir yet. By: Hillary Rodham Clinton. In American on Purpose , Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood.
Along the way, he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer. By: Craig Ferguson. Hopping from the Hamptons to the Manhattan dating world, the dog park to the red carpet, Cardinals superfan and mama's boy Andy Cohen, with Wacha in tow, is the kind of star fans are dying to be friends with.
This book gives them that chance. If The Andy Cohen Diaries was deemed "the literary equivalent of a Fresca and tequila" by Jimmy Fallon, Superficial is a double: dishier, juicier, and friskier. In this account of his escapades, Andy tells us not only what goes down but exactly what he thinks.
By: Andy Cohen. Madeline is a force to be reckoned with. Celeste is the kind of beautiful woman who makes the world stop and stare, but she is paying a price for the illusion of perfection. New to town, single mom Jane is so young that another mother mistakes her for a nanny. She comes with a mysterious past and a sadness beyond her years.
These three women are at different crossroads, but they will all wind up in the same shocking place. By: Liane Moriarty. Jenna Fischer's Hollywood journey began at the age of 22 when she moved to Los Angeles from her hometown of St.
She was determined, confident, and ready to work hard. So, what could go wrong? Uh, basically everything. It would be eight long years before she landed her iconic role on The Office , nearly a decade of frustration, rejection, and doubt.
Or, better yet, someone to show her the way. Jenna wants to be that person for you. By: Jenna Fischer. Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools.
Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them. While he's not quite a household name, most people would consider H. Jon Benjamin, the voice-actor star of Archer and Bob's Burgers and a sentient can of mixed vegetables in 's Wet Hot American Summer a comedy show business success. But he'd like to remind everyone that as great as success can be, failure is also an option.
In a hilarious, self-deprecating memoir, Jon lays out some of his many failures in all areas of life, from Work "wherein I'm unable to deliver a sizzling fajita" to Family "wherein a trip to PF Chang's fractures a family".
So now you might be wondering how in the eff am I managing to 1 Star something I 4 Starred in the past. Welllllll, lemme tell ya. Chelsea Handler has a voice that I want to punch right in the throat.
I convinced myself I could get past it and the funny would outweigh the fingernails-on-a-chalkboard reaction I have had to her speaking in the past, but it was not meant to be. Lesson learned and any future Handler endeavors by me will be strictly via print. View all 11 comments. Mar 13, Monique rated it really liked it. Cutting edge, funny sexy stories. Having seen Chelsea doing stand up and on Girls Behaving Badly, I was anxious to see how her wicked sarcastic wit would translate into text.
It's fantastic! A seriously gifted writer, who combines funny and raunchy better than any woman. I mean wild, hilarious and uninhibited story telling. And it's not just the sheer ridiculous situations she encounters.
She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, self-deprecating cynical Cutting edge, funny sexy stories. She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, self-deprecating cynical manner. She just has that trashy comedienne's gift of saying everything we think about but are afraid to say.
And she manages to share absolutely horrifying situations and somehow make them hysterical! There are some hilarious and uncomfortable family situations. Her father was quite the provider of wisdom, selling used junkyard cars out of their front yard, while making inappropriate sexual innuendos towards his daughters.
She shares some really funny embarrassing youth debacles and misadventures, and of course her bizarre sexual encounters with some serious screw ups. My favorite of Chelsea's embarrassing re-collections: her preposterous fake celebrity elementary school tale, a LOL birthday party for a friendless girl full of re-gifting, pretending to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class.
The Mini-Me and Prison Break chapters are just classics. Frankly if she wasn't successful, she may have ended up a basket case. If you are sensitive or quick to take offense, I would pass on this one. If you have a repressed wild side, you'll dive in headfirst and relish her antics and live vicariously through them. Also, if you like reading funny out of control drinking and sex stories, I'm half-way through Chelsea's other book Oct 08, Dan rated it did not like it. This sort of book and the positive outpouring for it make me really feel like I must have missed the boat somewhere in the last couple decades of culture or something.
Maybe it is that I have never seen Handler's stand-up and came to this book expecting something a little bit different. Perhaps Handler's shtick is that she is merely making a tongue-in-cheek imitation of the cliche "mean girl" that we all know from our high school days. But without being let in on the charade, I found connecting This sort of book and the positive outpouring for it make me really feel like I must have missed the boat somewhere in the last couple decades of culture or something.
But without being let in on the charade, I found connecting with Handler throughout the book to be basically impossible. The humor mostly seems to consist of criticizing everyone in her family, her circle of friends, and anyone else she meets in her life - most typically in a way that falls a tad short of catty, landing mostly in the realm of bitchy.
Admittedly, Handler does trot out a few story moments that provoked grins and the occasional laugh. Its clear that her escapades are wildly fabricated in places where the truth might have been more banal or required even a fleeting moment of self-reflection. Furthermore, despite all of the tweaking, many of the stories were pretty boring, just tossing in blunt comments and sailor-speak doesn't turn a dull day out into comedic gold. I had heard this book likened to some of Sedaris' essays, but find that the comparison to be wildly off-target.
Sedaris brings a sort of quiet thoughtfulness to his humor, and is most frequently the target of his own jokes. Handler, instead, brings a sort of crass entitlement to her judgments, too good for even those she is telling her story to.
View all 3 comments. May 14, Leah rated it it was ok Recommends it for: those looking for a light, entertaining read. Shelves: read , purchased , junk. It's Me, Chelsea to be an overall entertaining collection. The first four essays were, far and away, the 'best' in the collection.
Until reading this book, I had no familiarity with Handler. Totally underwhelming and inconsistently hilarious. Admittedly, the parts that were funny really were fantastic. However, Chelsea Handler glosses over and re-arranges life events in order to align them just so - and thusly make Admittedly, I don't usually read books like this, but found Are You There, Vodka? However, Chelsea Handler glosses over and re-arranges life events in order to align them just so - and thusly make whatever anecdote she's recounting work like one of her performance jokes.
Everything works just a little too well for these to be legitimate essays. Rather, the book reads like an ongoing stand-up routine with more detail added. Overall, it's a good effort: Handler isn't the best writer and is occasionally downright dismal , but her stories are generally amusing. View all 10 comments. Apr 29, Alexis rated it really liked it. Ah Chelsea, Hilarious. Read this on the plane ride back from atlanta. She never disappoints and I'm certain i annoyed rows 18 and 20 of Airtran Flight , and possibly rows 17 and 21 at certain points in the book with my laughter.
Would recommend it to anyone : Ah Chelsea, Hilarious. Would recommend it to anyone Dec 11, Lyndsey rated it really liked it Shelves: reviewed , audiobooks , reviewedstars. This woman is easily the funniest woman in the entertainment industry.
Yes, she's rude and crude, and definitely not for the prude. But I just can't help it. I love her. She brings out the evil maniacal laugh in me, if case you didn't already notice.
Since her other book is entitled "My Horizontal Life : A Collection of One-Night Stands", you can be fairly certain this book will also include sexual content as well as a lot of adult language. So if those make you uncomfortable, don't Buhwahahaha! So if those make you uncomfortable, don't read this. At least not while others of a prudish nature are around. She does have a deeply dark sense of humor. It seems to be all in good fun, though not necessarily good taste.
I like to believe she's a softie at heart, just with a hard exterior. Nevertheless, she's entertaining to say the least.
I really recommend listening to the audio book. A sheet of paper just cannot capture the brilliance of her wit and sarcasm. Her voice can be slightly overwhelming at times, but if your feeling down, her stories will bring you, if nothing else, hilarity. What are you going to do tonight, Chelsea Handler? Same thing she does every night - Try to take over the world. The entertainment world at least. I listened to this on audio and like my GR friend Kelly stated, Chelsea's voice can be a bit much.
Also, did all of these things truly happen? Some of them seem a bit over the top and maybe a bit embellished to make a better story?!? I think calling her dad "bitch tits" is bad. It just sounds stupid to me. There were quite a few times when I laughed out loud though. I am certainly not opposed to reading more of her stories. I used to watch her show on tv and I wonder if any of he 3 stars for me. I used to watch her show on tv and I wonder if any of her girlfriends in the book were some of the comics on the show.
It never stated if any names were changed. View all 5 comments. Feb 02, Judy rated it really liked it. What was I thinking when I put this book on my list of audios that I wanted my audioflix service to send me?
Oh well, give it a try, I thought, as I slid the first disk into the proper slot in the minivan. Well, I'm glad that I still have my lightening reflexes and battle tested driving skills because I was careening down the interstate laughing out loud at this book while going 80 miles per hour and you thought that driving while talking on the telephone was dangerous. Chelsea Handler picks s What was I thinking when I put this book on my list of audios that I wanted my audioflix service to send me?
Chelsea Handler picks stories from her family, relationships, childhood, and career for this group of hysterical essays. The best part was that she read this book so I didn't even have to imagine hearing the stories in her voice. Now a word of caution: if you have never seen her television show, Chelsea Handler Lately, on the Comedy Channel, please watch it a time a or two before reading or listening to this book.
On a scale of 1 to 10, she can hit a 12 on language and references to sex, drinking, and recreational drugs. But, apparently, this didn't faze a woman of my quality.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to risk reading My Horizontal Life--a series of essays about her one-night stands in her youth. Doesn't she know that we are still trying to pretend to our parents that our one-night stands never happened? But, if you like ribald humor, and I do, I recommend this book to you. Except Hope, please don't read this. I have WAY too much respect for you to subject you to this book.
It's bad enough that you have to put up with me on a daily basis. Oh, and Leslie, don't read this. I can just see you getting that look on your face that I so enjoy when I speak or act inappropriately. View 1 comment. Chelsea Handler's uninhibited storytelling and vulgar sense of humor make for a fun read. She has a gift for storytelling that will keep you laughing through each unbelievable and sometimes embarrassing real-life journey.
This book is full of good, inappropriate fun. If you offend easily, you probably should not read it. Otherwise, have a good laugh! Jun 16, Colleen Colleensreadingadventures Scidmore rated it really liked it Shelves: audio-books , books-read-in , adult , drama , gave-me-a-good-laugh , non-fiction , memoirs. This is the first book I've ever read by Chelsea. I obviously know who she is, I do not live under a rock, but I've never see any of her shows, her routines or even realized she was on Girls Behaving Badly.
I've seen clips of her here and there and thought that she was pretty funny and that Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea looked like an entertaining book. And I was right it was definitely entertaining! Where to start with this book?! It was so wrong on so many levels but oh so funny! I mean This is the first book I've ever read by Chelsea. I mean like soda coming out of my nose funny and at times even close to peeing my pants funny. She starts out talking a bit about her younger years but swiftly moves on into her 20's and goes through different escapes in her life all the way up to One of my favorites and probably the longest story in the book is her day or so in jail which started out as a DUI and turned into a fraud charge because her OWN sister turned her in for using her ID!
Her own sister! I think I would want to kick my sisters ass if I were her.
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